IT’S NOT MY FAULT?

What is Real? Thinking About Reality and You

A Quick Look:
This blog talks about what "reality" is. It says that reality isn't just what's around us, like trees and buildings. It's also very connected to how we humans think, what we believe, and how we try to find meaning in life. We'll look at ideas from thinkers who say that being a person means we're always trying to figure out and even help create the reality we experience. Things like freedom, our personal feelings, the confusing parts of life, and how we connect with others change how we see reality. So, for us, reality is something we're actively involved in, and it can sometimes feel like a big, personal challenge.

What is "Real" Anyway? It's Complicated!

The question "What is real?" is super old. My therapy helps people give new meanings to things by guiding them to access and shift the subconscious patterns, beliefs, and emotional imprints that were formed during earlier life experiences—often without their conscious awareness.

Thinkers from long ago, like Plato (who talked about people seeing shadows and thinking they were real) and Descartes (who doubted everything until he realized "I think, therefore I am"), have tried to answer it. Usually, people try to find a single, true reality that’s the same for everyone, no matter what we think.

But some thinkers, called existentialists, look at it differently. They don't just ask "What is reality?" They ask, "What does it mean to us that reality is here, and how do we live in it?" This blog argues that reality isn't just a background for our lives. Instead, it’s like a dance between a universe that doesn't always care about us and our own minds trying to make sense of it all. So, when we talk about reality "existing," it's less about what it is by itself and more about how we experience it and what it means in our lives.

Your Personal Glasses: How Your Mind Shapes What You See

A big idea for these thinkers is that your own personal experience is super important. A famous thinker named Jean-Paul Sartre said, "existence precedes essence." This basically means you're not born with a set purpose, like a chair is made to be sat on. You just are (you exist), and then you figure out who you are and what your life is about by living it.

When you "figure things out," My therapy helps people give new meanings to things by guiding them to access and shift the subconscious patterns, beliefs, and emotional imprints that were formed during earlier life experiences—often without their conscious awareness.

You use your mind to see and understand the world. So, reality isn't just "out there" waiting for you to notice it. You actively build your understanding of it through your own thoughts and feelings. It's like you're wearing special glasses, and your past experiences, emotions, and goals change how you see everything.

Someone named Immanuel Kant (who wasn't exactly one of these thinkers but gave them ideas) said there's the world as it really is (which we can't fully know) and the world as it appears to us. Existentialists take this further and say that each person shapes their "appeared world" in their own unique way. If you're worried about something, you might notice things that make you more worried. If you're looking for fun, you might find it. It's not just your brain; even your body and how you move through the world affects how you understand things.

You're Free!

If what we see as real is partly shaped by us, through our “special glasses”, then the idea that we are very, very free is important. Sartre also said humans are "condemned to be free." This doesn't just mean you can pick what cereal to eat. It means you have to create your own ideas of what's important and, by doing that, you decide what your world means. There's no big instruction book from the universe telling you what matters. You decide.

This means the "reality" you live in partly shows the choices you make and the meanings you give things. My therapy helps people give new meanings to things by guiding them to access and shift the subconscious patterns, beliefs, and emotional imprints that were formed during earlier life experiences—often without their conscious awareness.

If you decide the world is a mean place, you might focus on things that prove you right. If you choose to look for good things, your world might seem better. This doesn't mean you can just imagine a million dollars and it appears. But it does mean that the things that are important and meaningful in your reality get that way because of your choices. This is a big responsibility: you're kind of like a co-writer of your own life story and the world it happens in.

Huh? When the Universe Doesn't Make Sense

Sometimes, trying to understand reality feels weird or confusing. A thinker named Albert Camus called this feeling "the Absurd." One of my favorite moments in sessions is when a client suddenly laughs—not because something’s funny in the traditional sense, but because they’ve just seen the absurdity of a belief they’ve been carrying for years.

It’s the kind of laughter that says, “Wait... I really thought it was all my fault?” Or, “I spent how long believing I wasn’t enough because of that?”

This laughter isn’t dismissive. It’s sacred. It signals a shift—a crack in the armor of an old, protective belief that once made perfect sense to a younger version of them. A belief that said “Stay small, stay safe,” or “You have to earn love by being perfect.”

When we work with the nervous system and subconscious—not just the mind—we don’t just think differently, we feel differently. That’s where the magic happens. Because when your body finally feels safe enough to see things clearly, the truth often makes you laugh.

It's not that reality itself is silly. It's that we humans really want life to have clear meaning and purpose, but the universe often seems silent and doesn't give us easy answers. We ask "Why?" and the universe just kind of shrugs.

Realizing this can be a big moment. It shows us that any meaning we find isn't just floating out there in the world; it's something we create. Reality, by itself, just is. It doesn't have its own built-in goals or rules about what's right or wrong.

Understanding "the Absurd" might make you feel down at first. But Camus said it can also be freeing. It means we don't have to search for some ultimate, hidden meaning. We can use our freedom to create our own meaning, even when things seem pointless. Think of the Greek myth of Sisyphus, who had to roll a huge rock up a hill forever, only for it to roll down again. Camus said Sisyphus could find meaning by choosing to face his task with rebellion and scorn for the gods. His struggle itself, and how he thought about it, became his personal truth, even in a pointless situation.

We're In This Together: Creating a Shared Reality

Even though our personal view is important, these thinkers don't say we're all alone in our own little reality bubbles. The idea of "being-with-others" (another thinker, Heidegger, called it Mitsein) is also key. Our realities are hugely shaped by talking and interacting with other people. Through language, culture, and understanding each other, we build a common idea of the world—a shared reality.

This shared reality isn't a perfect copy of some "true" reality. It's more like an agreement we've all made that helps us communicate and live together. But this shared world can also be tricky. Sometimes people just go along with what others think or what society expects (Sartre called this "bad faith"). When that happens, they might not be true to themselves or their own way of seeing things. The "reality" that society pushes on us can feel like a lot of pressure, and it shows there can be a clash between your personal world and the one everyone else seems to agree on. The challenge is to be part of this shared world without losing yourself.

So, What's the Point? Reality is Your Project!

To sum it up, when these thinkers talk about reality, it's not just about a simple, "out there" thing. It's complicated, always changing, and very personal. There might be a world that exists whether we're here or not, but the reality that matters to us—the one we live in, deal with, and give meaning to—is something we help create. It's shaped by our minds, our freedom, and how we deal with the confusing parts of life. It's built from our own individual experiences and also through our connections with others.

So, for these "existentialist" thinkers, reality isn't something you just find, like discovering a new planet. It's something you actively make and connect with. It's like a big project or a maze you're walking through, where you're both the explorer and, in a way, the one drawing the map. The worry and responsibility that come with this are just part of being human—always having to find meaning and build a world we can live in from the basic, sometimes uncaring, stuff of the universe. These ideas don't give all the final answers about what reality is, but they do show us how important our own role is in making reality what it is for ourselves.